Rituals & New Beginnings

To close out a time and begin anew.

I am just returning from a retreat for small business women founders in NYC hosted by an incredibly mission-driven (public relations) PR coach. This June just hits harder than usual. Aside from the world and the US in existential crisis with ongoing wars, political upheaval, and natural disasters, the reality is that personally, it's been a time of internal change and development as a founder. I started the year with hopes of aligning the group in January. By May, I had lost two team members and gained clarity on rebranding, specifically to focus on leadership and wellbeing coaching. As a result, I felt lighter, leaner, and more excited than ever before.

My 50th birthday is in August, just a few months away, and while I thought I'd be able to make it in my academic clinical career last until 60, I am having serious doubts about that, and am thinking that my trajectory is probably in the next 5 years to decrease to a different balance of academic, clinical, and business. The last week has also been meeting and talking to founders who want to create something that could help many, and it's been an exciting exploration of using my brain and experience in a way I had always wondered about, but never knew anyone that had done it. One of the founders at the retreat had grown and exited her healthcare consultancy business, and this completely fascinated me. I learned as much from my fellow founders on understanding that there are always multiple paths, and they all had their unique story of both/ and in life and work. They were mothers, consultants, owned multiple companies, and had faced significant masculine toxicity, silencing, dismissing, and bullying, and had risen above it all. Much like art and creativity, I was able to see that it was their life's work expressed and made whole. I met some very deeply grounded people, all of whom had awareness of their past traumas, which made them stronger, more resilient, and more beautiful because of it.

What strikes me now is how deeply we as humans need ritual and ceremony to make sense of our lives, especially in moments of transition. There's something ancient and essential about gathering together to mark the milestones, to honor what was and call in what's coming. These practices aren't just beautiful traditions—they're psychological anchors that help us process change, find meaning in uncertainty, and connect to something larger than ourselves. Whether it's lighting candles or sharing ceremonial cacao, these moments of intentional presence give us agency in shaping who we're becoming and create the container for transformation to actually happen.

The cacao ceremony was so beautiful, simple, and elegantly done. The cacao ceremony and healing sound bath, along with an explanation of the ritual and ceremony, marks this present moment of the halfway mark of 2025 and the precipice of the next decade. I learned so much that I didn't know about ceremonial cacao: it's the highest food source with magnesium, high in iron, and not sweet at all. Our cacao was sourced directly from Guatemala and carefully selected, with a direct relationship with the farmer. The music was all kinds of sounds: singing bowls, singing, guitar, water, chimes, and it was a gentle journey within into deep awareness. It was definitely a combination of theta and alpha wave relaxation, with periods that felt like sleep at times and gentle awareness at others. After deeply settling into ourselves and being so immensely present, rested, and whole again, we wrote a letter to old selves. I thanked my old self for being the ever present peace maker, diplomat, and gave her permission to move on. We then burned the letters in a ceremonial fire. The elements of the earth were well represented, with Mother Earth grounding us. We honored the shapeshifting water to our left, where we can mold to whatever comes our way and bend to fit and flow to what life brings us. We honored the fiery power of fire to our right, by which new beginnings, strength, and power flows.

This ceremony was deeply felt by all, and it truly was an amazing junction point for myself, as I reflect on what the next decade will look like. Intentional hopes and dreams never seemed to be possible previously, but for the first time, I think differently about this. Doing brave things have certainly felt more possible since the pandemic and the divorce. The two biggest moments of courage that I can look back on remind me that I am capable, smart, and determined. I've learned to reach out and look for supports, begin to trust my intuition, and find my voice. It's still a work in progress, but as I look back on the past 5 years, who would have known that I could call myself a writer, coach, entrepreneur, and podcaster, in addition to being a mother, physician, and educator? Becoming more aware of the energy patterns around me and the ability to call forth and manifest the life of my dreams is becoming much more possible, and recognizing that people are meant to come and go into that energy force of my life in the right timing makes me appreciate and savor it that much more. Nothing is to be taken for granted, and conjuring forth the ideas and possibilities seem imminently more possible. What I wonder about comes towards me.

The ritual and ceremony of letting go of the past, reflecting on the past, learning the lessons, and calling forth the future was a powerful lesson. More than just a simple retrospective, it was an energetic, whole-body encompassing moment to deeply be present in knowing that we are whole and powerful just as we are. To be grounded deeply in our own presence, unapologetic, and whole person was so powerful. I think back on that time and savor it, and hope to be able to tap into that feeling in that liminal space of being just me. Simply being present in that way was my level 6/7 energy space (for iPEC energy leadership coaches who read this, you know what this reference means), and knowing that there was no judgment and no wrong or right, and knowing that all is beautiful and complete in the present moment. In that beautiful place is where intuition and deep knowing resides: discerning the next right step requires first embodying the presence of being.

After the ceremony and sound bath, I felt so energized, happy, creative, and ready. Ready to be back into the creation and expression mode, not throttled by the external trappings of society, and instead just ready to be me. I think often of tapping into the feeling of that moment and remember that I can access it anytime. I was struck by an excellent reminder that I've heard 2 times this month: the morning pages writing a la The Artist's Way and Write For Life (Julia Cameron). Writing stream of consciousness in the mornings and letting everything out, no matter how messy, unorganized, uneloquent, and un-useful. I am back here thinking, processing, and reflecting.

The most beautiful way that this retreat helped was the time to lean into one's own self, ceremoniously let go of the past and ground into the present, spend the downtime walking in lovely SoHo, and discover new things about ourselves. None of us knew each other. We traveled from many states away to be together, and this was not by accident. Honoring the beauty, magic, energy, and peace of getting B roll photos, refining our message, sharing our stories, being deeply present, curious and supportive for each other was beyond amazing. It was an intimate, deeply personal retreat. We are the lucky ones that crafted this healing time for ourselves, and most of all, deeply grateful to the person who organized all of this, who created the space for flourishing, growth, feedback, and the journey.

Thanks for joining me here on The Learning Journal, a place to find your Both-And in life, by me, The Path Less Traveled, MD. Here we’ll be talking about cognitive and learning research and perspectives to help you cultivate a growth mindset. Our growth isn’t just about our own personal development—it’s about enhancing our ability to heal, to care, and to make a lasting difference in the lives of many. If you liked what you read, please share and promote my little corner of Substack with a friend, colleague, and others. If you are a healthcare professional, contact me about how our coaching programs can help you find a more aligned and powerful life. Subscribe for free!

Lillian Liang Emlet is an energy leadership coach for healthcare professionals, adult critical care physician, and a simulation medical educator. Find her on LinkedIn and Transforming Healthcare Coaching.